“I’m scared of failing again” she said. Sometimes, the fear of failure is so high that it stands between them and their goal. Are you also scared of failing at something?
I like to dwell deep into any topic that I research. So if you have 10 minutes then grab your cup and read on, this is going to be the best 10 minutes you’ll ever invest if you’re scared or afraid of failing in life.
First of all, let us fully understand what a failure is
According to the dictionary, simple meaning of failure is this:
“Lack of success” or action without success.
Personally, I see the definition as this: “lack of success (yet). You gotta keep trying.” You may or may not achieve it in future is a different topic. So to understand failure, we must also understand how a person defines success? Now this is very important because it’ll change the way you see things around you and change the tone of how you achieve success in real life.
For ex. If you’re studying for a competitive exam, many people would think success means passing that exam, getting good grades or ranking number 1 among all the students. You also think the same, right?
But in real terms, I like to define success on things that are absolutely and directly in my control. How? For ex, If I study for an exam, I would define my success as mastering the concepts of that subject. Understanding them so well that I can present a good answer during the exam. Getting good grades or ranking first in class shouldn’t be the ultimate goal, because that will automatically follow.
If I find understanding the concepts of my studies difficult, or the topics are really tough. I’ll change the definition of my success to something even more controllable. How? By giving my best. By setting up a schedule, getting up early every morning and commit maximum hours. Using good resources to study with full attention. Now this is something definitely in our control, right?
When you achieve your desired commitment of lets say giving 5 hours to studying in a day. You’ll feel a sense of achievement in itself. You promised something to yourself and you did it. You’ll not be worried about what you’re going to do in the exam because you have done your work for the day. You can’t eat all the meals at one time, right?
Remember, it is those small successes and achievements that will pile up and automatically lead you to big success that you eventually dream of.
Focus on attitude and effort
Because a wise man once said, only our attitude and effort is in our complete control. That’s actually true! Rest all the variables may or may not be our control. The stories you tell yourself builds up and become a mindset. Focusing on something not in your control, then not achieving it will lead to frustration and anger.
Whenever I think of failure, it reminds me of Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb. Many people say he “failed” at inventing the electric light bulb like a 10000 times.
One of Edison’s most famous quotes is, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” If you adopt this same attitude (remember your attitude and effort is always in your control), you’ll overcome your feelings of failure and be able to see your dreams and desires come to fruition.
Forget all this, just imagine the person who invented bicycle. It takes so many days for a kid to learn cycling. The first person who ever invented it, who would’ve told him that you can actually ride a bicycle like that by balancing on two tires? Just think about it.
There are examples of men who have achieved great things that have never been done before. Achieved something nobody else could imagine. Just go back a 100 years ago, who would’ve thought that we can communicate to each other being in different part of the globe so easily.
If people can believe something that has never happened, who are we to not believe something that is already in existence? Things that many people had already done, why can’t you?
Are you stressed or feel frustrated when you face failure?
This is a common problem for all of us. When we see defeat in front of us, we feel stressed, sad, frustrated, lonely because nobody can understand what we’re going through. You can’t explain that feeling to someone because its only you who can see it. You might think that you are not good enough and that you should just give up. Why bother again when the outcome is going to be the same – failure.
When you’re doing something difficult, failing to achieve it,
Just read this again and again, until you understand it thoroughly:
“Everything that is great, is difficult.”
Because If it was easy, everyone would do it, hence making it not great anymore.
If you want to rise above the mediocrity, you have to deal with difficulty and failure more often.
For you decide to give up, means choosing an easy life, which in reality is definitely not easy.
Just because you’ve failed once, twice at something, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You only fail when you stop trying.
How to overcome the scared feeling of “loser” to defeat failing?
The more I read, think, introspect and write, the more I realize that fear and failure is absolutely fake. Look around you. Do you see any person or object called fear or failure? No one?
It’s just in your head.
There are no such things as failures, just experiences and your reactions to them. Guess what, you can change it.
The competition in life is not between you and your co-workers, not between you and your competitors. The real battle in life is between YOU vs. YOU. You have to win yourself first, only then you’ll be able to win the world.
“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the team of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.”
Whenever you’re scared or think of giving up, think of why you started in the first place? How excited were you when you started? How excited and happy would you feel once you accomplish it? Build a habit of thinking something positive instead of negative. Because you make habits; then habits make you. They compound over time and becomes a part of you.
Failing is a sign of progress. It’s a sign that you’re doing something great, something meaningful and something that not many people can achieve. Because of its difficulty, many people had already given up. So whenever you’re scared of failing, take that one more step, try once again.
Most great people have achieved their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure. Just when they felt it was over, it all begun.
The only wish I have, the only thing I tell to myself when I come across a major defeat in life is this: “Conquer it or die trying“.
Easy choices; later on, life not easy.
Difficult choices; later on, life easy.
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I would like to share 2 quotes:
1) “You have to fail in order to climb the ladder of success.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
2) “When you feel like Quitting: Remember why you started, remember where you’re headed, think of how great it would be to get there & keep going.” – Ralph Marston